Sunday, August 14, 2016

Just A Little Thought

  You know that feeling you get on at the pic of your stomach and then it leads up to your throat and you're like oh man, I feel like complete and utter shit! Or I'm about to cry but, I really don't want to and I also feel like life in its own way is telling me to just cry.  As if it's OK to just let it all out but that feeling in your throat feels a guilt because you don't want to let it out, because you feel like it isn't at the right moment to let out. can I really let it all out? I know this sounds crazy but I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. 

 I know especially when I'm feeling a difficult way or difficult feeling anyways that someone out there is feeling the same way that's why I started making videos six years now this year and a lot has happened in those six years.  Come to think of, it just thinking of it all seems really crazy. So crazy that I'm up at 5:45 AM in writing on my blog so crazy that and trying to be creative thinking of new ideas and so much more. I don't know what's more crazy that I'm thinking of making French toast for everyone when they come back from Chicago or that I'm going to go for work at 6:45 AM? Or is it crazy that I want to cry right now but I'm trying my hardest to hold it in? 

 I don't know, but what I do know is right now I'm feeling, overwhelmed, looking for a new job, wondering what the hell am I doing, most of all how did I get to this point? I was doing pretty good I was proud of myself right now I'm not so proud of myself it's only in getting back to being really proud of myself. Is anyone else in this boat with me or am I the only one about to cry am thinking about everybody else in the world and wondering what's going on right now? I know it's totally insane a lot is on my mind October right around the corner and I am in Lala land wondering when this ride is going slow down or at the very least some good news come along on this damn boat ride. 

Well that's my thoughts right now, I know this makes no sense or if it made sense to you hopefully will see this together and will come forward to that idea or an agreement or through this situation that we can handle because we got this! we can definitely handle this together like Bethenny  Frankel says lets come from "a place of yes" and like I say don't forget to smile. 

I love you, talk to you soon 

Monday, November 30, 2015

vlogmas this year?

ive vloged last year on my vlog channel and wanted to know if you guys anted me to vlog again yous guys really liked it so much happend last year but way more this year i think i might let me know heres a clip from last year

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Bethenny: 'I Had the Worst Year of My Whole Life Last Year' when it hurts



when it hurts you just let it all out, i know most of the times its best to just leave it in or at least to just let it in and not talk about it and just smile but if and when you need your time and let it go its okay. i know because thats what i have been telling my self even when its hard just let it go, as hard as it is let it go who cares...
i know when the tears come down its the hardest thing in the world but you will be okay i try and tell myself that everyday 

don't forget to smile, i love you

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

No Words

No words i could sit here for so many hours and try and think of something to film or write but it will all come out the same way in so many tears i cant speak just speak for myself but i know my siblings and family's heart are hurting so much but i want to thank you all for all the love you have given my family and all the love you send to our hearts at this difficult time. i cant write so much without trying not to cry but its easier to do this then to film a video I'm sorry for anyone who is asking for any videos or vlogs its just really hard to do at this time.

 loosing a mother and a brother is such a close time is so hard its never easy to loose just one person let alone loose two people that mean so much to your heart, to they were so much to so many people your heart beast so fast when you think of them and we will, you will, think of them all the time around the holidays it gets hard but family is life, family, is love, family is a bond that will never be broken. no mater what.

talk to yous guys soon and remember don't ever forget to smile. i love you.